Do you REALLY want to quit smoking? I’m sorry to say this but in order to be able to quit smoking seriously, you have to want it more than you want a cigarette.
First, let me question your addiction behavior. Have you ever had a major addiction that you’ve overcome? Ok, now answer the next question truthfully. Was it because YOU wanted to quit, or was someone else in your life giving you an ultimatum?
See there? There’s a difference between the two. The difference is the drive you have underneath it. Some people are better at quitting when they’re being pressured by outside sources. Outside sources can be anything from being told by the doctor that if you don’t quit you’ll be carrying around an oxygen tank for the rest of your life, or maybe just something as simple as a loved one that tells you how much they love you and want you to stay around longer.
Both of these are good reasons to quit, but did either of them strike the nerve to get you going? Ok, so then maybe you’re here because nobody understands the addicts side of the addiction. You’re lucky today, because I do. Without completely revealing my previous weaknesses, let’s focus on the fact that I have an extremely addictive personality. I’m typing this article from an extremely cracked phone that has been out of service for a few days. I’m relying on the low budget wifi connection to process this when I’m done writing.
What does that have to do with anything?
A lot, actually. Why do people have their phones shut off? 99% of the time it’s because they’re shit faced poor like I am. The funny thing is that every source of my income relies on my phone. You’d think that this would be my priority bill then, right? NOPE! I’m not ready to discuss the issues I’m facing right now, but hopefully now you understand what sometimes an addiction can follow you no matter where you are. You can read every online article you can find about how to quit smoking, and it’s not going to work until YOU are the motivation behind it. I just wanted you to understand that. I’m still going to tell you about how I quit, but when it works for you, I don’t want the credit. It wasn’t my blog that made you quit. It was YOU. It was YOUR motivation, behind YOUR drive, behind YOUR last resort.
Don’t understand? Maybe not, but you’re still here, so I kinda think you do. Are YOU ready? Ok. Go buy a carton of your favorite cigarettes.
Yes, a carton. My logic is different than yours. Did you quit yet? No? Well I did. Go get a damn carton. Unless you’re not here on your own accord and can’t commit to anything. My method is going to take at least a week, it’s not a miracle overnight bs remedy from late night TV infomercials. Are you still with me? Ok.
This message will self destruct in five minutes
Grab a box. A pretty box. Or just a box that you won’t mind looking at for awhile.
- Day 1: Smoke every cigarette in the first pack. Force it! If you smoke more than a pack a day, revise the recipe as follows. 1 pack a day= 1 carton bought. Therefore, 2 packs a day=2 cartons bought. Smoke EVERY cigarette, no more, no less. These instructions follow a pack a day rule, revise as needed. However, always round up. If you only smoke 16 cigarettes a day, it counts as a pack.
- Day 2: Open pack #2. Grab your box and put 1 cigarette from the 2nd pack in it. Smoke 19 cigarettes today.
- Day 3: Open pack #3. Place 2 cigarettes in your box. Smoke 18 cigarettes today.
- Day 4: Open pack #4. Place 3 cigarettes in your box. Smoke 17 cigarettes today.
- Day 5: Open pack #5. Place 4 cigarettes in your box. Smoke 16 cigarettes today. I’m really hoping you see a pattern here. No? Oook. 2 more.
- Day 6: Open pack #6. Place 5 cigarettes in the box. Smoke 15 cigarettes today.
- Day 7: Open pack #7. Place 6 cigarettes in the box. Smoke 14 cigarettes today.
- Day 8:
Are you still with me? I’m not good at repetition (which is why I don’t like modern rap music). Anyway, you get the point. So today we’ll pretend that we’re on day #15 . You should have been preparing yourself to eliminate one cigarette less per day, right? Hopefully you see the pattern. If not, go take a math and logic course and come back when you can add and subtract.
So you have 14 cigarettes placed in your box today, right? Meaning you’re down to 6 cigarettes per day, aren’t you? Congrats! You’re halfway through the quitting phase.
You’ve enabled yourself to cut down, would you look at that?
6 cigarettes, yay! Now, moving forward. Pretending you’re on day #20 your last pack. Oh no, what do I do now?
Ok math whiz.. how many cigarettes are in your box?
Well then, you should probably have 190 cigarettes in the box. My box has 10. But why do I have cigarettes in my possession if I quit? Well, because I’m done, for good and it doesn’t matter. I smoked 1 cigarette a day for 180 days. After 180 days, I kinda figured that since I was able to go from 20 cigarettes to 1 cigarette a day, I should probably just quit, right? Yep! So, for the next 10 days, I chewed on a drinking straw and I even held it between my 2 fingers as if it was a cigarette. The psychology of merely knowing that I had 10 cigarettes left to fall back on actually motivated me to keep moving forward. So, here I am 7 weeks later and smoke free! ..and I didn’t even kill anybody.
This writer wishes to remain anonymous. If you have input on ways to revise this, please comment. If you have a better idea, please email me your method, and I’ll add it to my blog firstname.lastname@example.org.